Scott Pilgrim is the Sex Bob-Omb!

The eagerly anticipated Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World from director Edgar Wright, serves up a plate of nonsensical, unsolicited fun. With kick-ass fighting scenes that out-do the likes of Tekken, a range of awesome indie tunes, and incredible visuals throughout, the film is the perfect escape from reality for any moody teen or big kid.

Scott Pilgrim, lovingly played by the geeky yet cute Michael Cera (Juno, Year One, Superbad), is a twenty-something bass player with little direction in life. Cue sexy bad girl Ramona Flowers. Pilgrim falls madly in love with Ramona, only to discover she comes with more baggage than the usual girl, in the form of 7 evil exes. What comes next is a multitude of justifiably over-the-top battles, incorporating some fab fight moves from Cera, electrical music monsters, a load of comic-book stylings and super-powers cool enough to give Spidey a run for his money.

The highlight of the film is its likeness to eighties videogames, like Pac-Man. Everytime Pilgrim successfully defeats an ex, they explode into coins. Not only that, but the Pilgrim-verse gives Scott the ability to gain extra lives, fight in split screen and have all the onomatopoeias you can ask for showing up on screen whenever he throws a punch. Also, whenever a new character is introduced, their name and age comes up next to them on screen; again this gives a virtual feel to the movie.

Brandon Routh plays avid vegan Todd, my favourite evil ex. His super-powers are seemingly enforced by his pretentious vegan nature and although he struggles to string an intelligent sentence together he proves to be a tough kill for Pilgrim. Another character that gives the film that little bit extra is Wallace Wells, Pilgrim’s gay roommate. Played by Kieran Culkin, Wallace offers a vast amount of comedic value with his ability to send a gossipy text even when he’s passed out, by turning straight men gay, and by generally highlighting Scott’s stupidity and ineptitude with women.

Wright succeeds in keeping the film as true to the graphic novels as possible, whilst adding his own British spin. Snappy cut scenes, as seen in previous Edgar Wright gems Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, are used to effect when Pilgrim is rushing off to battle his next nemesis. The film is well cast and although it has its fair share of special effects, it doesn’t rely on these to carry the film, unlike a lot of current blockbusters. A wicked sense of British humour, several cringe-worthy moments and an underlying love story really help the film come into it’s own.

With a simplistic yet relatable storyline and enough KOs, smashes, biffs and POW!s to keep any comic-book fan happy, Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World gets 9/10.

Keep telling yourself it’s only a story…

Last weekend I took a trip to London to see one of the West End’s newest additions, Ghost Stories. Normally I stick to TV and film, but this piece of fried gold blew me away so much – I just had to spread the word! As the show begs for the viewer to ‘keep the secrets of Ghost Stories’ I will happily oblige and keep this review short and sweet, without giving away anything to ruin it.

Before the show even begins you are filled with a sense of foreboding, sparked by the décor in the Leicester Square’s Duke of Yorks Theatre which is kitted out with industrial lighting, dark wallpapers, hazard tape and cob-webbing. The experience as a whole, including being shut into the theatre and told that ‘anyone who leaves won’t get back in’, really kick-starts the whole style and atmosphere of the show.

Mark Carter (understudy) plays Professor Goodman, an expert in parapsychology and yet an evident sceptic. Carter is great, building up a rapport with the viewers from the outset by using a conversational tone and employing a touch of audience participation. The professor shows the audience a variety of recordings and images, supposedly conveying paranormal activities, each of which he hastily explains away. Only three stories have ever given him cause to question his scepticism, which he proceeds to tell with the help of his trusty tape recorder and four other flawless actors. Each story succeeds, with the help of some wonderfully executed sounds and lighting, in making the audience shriek and jump with fear, all in unison, and the ending offers a delightful twist that you don’t see coming.

Andy Nyman’s Ghost Stories is an edge of your seat horror taken to new heights by the initial concept of having the terror physically in front of you. Sights, sounds, and even smells, are all magnified to make it an intense experience, outdoing anything a simple DVD can provide.

Would I go again? Hell yes; I do love a good scare. Book it, book it now! 9/10.

I love it when an action film comes together!

As someone who was probably a bit too young to get caught up in the craze of the series, I wasn’t really sure whether I was going to enjoy The A-Team or not. So you can imagine my surprise when, despite initial reservations, I found myself grinning from ear to ear throughout.

The A-Team offers 100% straight-up action from the outset, with unbelievable stunts fuelled by farfetched and perfectly executed plans. The primary mission (recovering some stolen U.S. treasury plates) is secondary to the action plan itself - you could almost say it’s irrelevant. The ethos of the film doesn’t really seem to be ‘where are we going and why’ but more about the journey, the plans and the events in between; namely some impossible helicopter flights, high-power car chases and a rather interesting use of some old airbags. A token romance involving girl-next-door Jessica Biel is thrown in but thankfully not overdone, leaving much more leg-room for the action element.

Although elaborate, the infamous A-Team plans would be nothing without the four men that carry them out. Colonel “Hannibal” Smith (Neeson), Templeton “Faceman” Peck (Cooper), Bosco “B.A.” Baracus (Jackson) and insane pilot, “Howling Mad” Murdock (Copley), are four renegade comrades-in-arms on a crusade to clear their names. Wrongly accused about their involvement in the missing plates, our beloved A-Team are striped of their ranks and put in separate maximum security prisons. Obviously, with the brilliant mind of Hannibal at the helm, prison isn’t enough to keep them tied down for long.

One character who really stood out for me was Murdock, played by the ever-talented Sharlto Copley. After the success of District 9, what could he do wrong? The answer: not a damn lot. Copley acted his part flawlessly, with a dash of smarts and just the perfect amount of crazy thrown in to play the off-the-wall pilot. B.A. Baracus, played by ex-wrestler Quinton ‘Rampage’ Jackson, is definitely worth a mention, as even with the big shoes of Mr. T to fill, Jackson did a first-class job in taking on the comedic role of the big softie. Neeson is his usual self, playing the steadfast, intellectual group leader without a hiccup, and Bradley Cooper doesn’t have to do much to play the notoriously handsome Face, but he does well in bringing his own flair to the character which as we discover, isn’t just a pretty face after all. When he puts his mind to it, Faceman contributes a lot to the plans that power the A-Team.

Overall, the basis of the film seems to be more focused on the introduction of the characters that make up the group rather than the provision of an original storyline. Despite that, I actually really enjoyed getting to know all the characters and just experiencing some pure action, no questions asked. My hope is that better storylines are to come in the form of a sequel (or two!), which must be on the cards.

So, if you have a hankering for an action movie dose and you can’t stand it; you can watch the A-TEAM! Jam-packed with over-the-top stunts and killer rock tunes, The A-Team will fix you up good and proper.

This one gets 7/10 from moi.

Sexed-up British teens get a scare

BBC Films’ recent teen horror, Tormented, is a ghastly black comedy about a student who commits suicide and then returns to torture and take revenge on his ex-classmates.

Starring several throwbacks from the Channel 4 programme Skins, Tormented wastes no time in jumping straight into the story, beginning the film with the funeral of student Darren Mullet. It is clear from the outset that Mullet, or Shrek as he is perpetually referred to, was invisible to most of his classmates and those that did notice him subjected him to bullying hell. The popular kids that offered Mullet nothing more than torment, headed by wannabe bad-boy Bradley (Alex Pettyfer), disrespectfully throw a shindig to celebrate his demise.

We don’t see Mullet’s super-freaky ghost until about half-way through the movie, but prior to that quick snapping frames and rather shaky camerawork is employed for us to see through the eyes of Mullet.

Mullet’s first victim is the idiot DJ at Bradley’s party. This may because he thinks he’s a mini-gangster or perhaps, more likely, that when deviating from the party he decides to void his bladder on Mullet’s grave. Bloodily impaled by a wooden cross, this DJ definitely isn’t gangster. Sorry.

Several unsettling appearances in windows and mirrors later, Mullet launches full speed into taking out the entire group that caused him to kill himself in the first place. Mullet racks up a multitude of different killing methods, including drowning, decapitation, impaling, whipping and rather strangely, forcing pencils up someone’s nose a *little* too far. Head Girl Justine is one of the only ones he does little harm to as according to his suicide note; he was madly in love with her. Unfortunately being the last one standing does her no favours, as she quickly gets all the blame for the serial killings and ends up in the back of a police car.

Key black comedy points include:

• A girl being drowned in the swimming pool by Mullet; he does this by using his weight and girth to sit on her, pinning her to the floor of the pool. Worth noting that he wears goggles. Since when does a ghost need googles?!
• A bunch of stereotypical goth kids at the school who think ‘death is so erogenous’ and wish they could be just like Mullet. They also want to do a mash-up of the funeral march.
• Mullet’s ghostly force is powered by his inhaler.

Tormented is a typical Brit horror-flick with sexy romps and an unhappy ending, but offers a plotline that has some decent substance. Not only that, but despite its comedic nature, the film does well to highlight the seriousness of bullying. Hats off BBC!
Gets 5.5/10 from me (1/2 a brownie point just for being British. England ahoy!)

Also, just an aside: unlike most US films set in schools, it’s nice to see teens playing teens, rather than actors in their late twenties playing young-uns! I loved Dawson’s Creek but it just wasn’t realistic.

My 10 Best 'Chick Flicks'

Cheese, madam? Don't mind if I do!


Following my humdinger of a '10 Worst Chick Flicks' blog on Tuesday, I have decided to transversely discuss my '10 Best Chick Flicks' > as promised. Herewith the list of my 10 favourite cheesy/girly movies that I adore and, in most cases, have watched so many times I know all the songs and the scripts backwards. Each one gives me that warm fuzzy feeling inside that all good chick flicks should. Hope you all agree!

Voila! (again in no particular order):

Mannequin – An eighties classic, Mannequin provides all you could ask for in a chick flick. A guy, a girl, a romance…the only problem here is that our leading lady (Kim Cattrall) happens to be a dummy. Well…more precisely, a dress-up doll in a department store that comes alive at night. Providing the perfect obstacle to love (that’s the bit in the middle of any romantic film, where for some reason the lovers and pulled apart by some ‘event’ before being beautifully reunited! Bliss), Mannequin is a must for any hapless romantic who doesn’t mind seeing the odd eighties quiff here and there.

Sleepless in Seattle – Young Hanks and Ryan perform beautifully in this epic tale of romance. If you haven’t seen it already, WHAT THE HELL?! Never has a film filled me with such good vibes about a building. Empire State, I love you.

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days – Albeit modern and a rehash of other films before it, I find How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days really comforting as far as chick flicks go. It’s a balls out, no frills, chick flick. Not only that but Matthew McConaughey (in his less fake-tanned days) and Kate Hudson make a beautiful couple to look at. How could anyone not find this film appealing? McConaughey’s Southern charm and Hudson’s dulcid tones make it an all round pleasant experience. A feel-good movie if I ever saw one!

Beaches – A tale of two childhood friends from different worlds. Theatre, love, hardships and death, Beaches is a must when wanting to watch a girly film about ever-lasting friendship. As the tagline says: ‘Once in a lifetime you make a friendship that lasts forever’. Awww. Honest to god though, makes me sob everytime. Plus Bette Midler brings her usual sparkle to the film.

Legally Blonde – This is my guilty pleasure movie. I’m not traditionally a girly girl, but I can’t get enough of the pinks, the beauty parlours and little Bruiser, the Chihuahua. Despite ‘Elle Woods’ being a dippy, rich blonde that everyone loves to hate, Witherspoon really does well in making the character relatable. The story follows Elle in her journey to get back her high-school boyfriend who dumps her because he wants to date ‘a Jackie; not a Marilyn’. Attempting to prove her merit, she somehow scrapes into Harvard Law School and through her own determination and fierce will, becomes top of the class. This film gives the true essence of chick-flick by enforcing ‘girl-power’ (in the words of the Spice Girls).

Cruel Intentions – Another Witherspoon classic (can you guess I’m a fan yet?). I don’t want to give away too much, but with a hot bad-boy male lead (Ryan Phillipe) a sex-crazed step sister (SMG) and a frigid cello player (Selma Blair), this film provides fun for all the family. Well. Most anyway. A fantastic love affair and a heart-wrenching ending give this film a distinction in the chick flick category.

The Wedding Singer – This one’s not traditionally a chick-flick (probably more of a rom/com), but I’m a chick and I, er, love this flick. This the only film that Sandler is really fanciable and when he sings on the plane at the end > my heart melts. One of my fave movies EVER.

Ever After – Combine some period costume with a classic fairytale, a beautifully British male lead, a stonkingly gorgeous heroine and music from the awesome Texas and you’ve got a winner. Ever After is a wondrous adaptation of the original Cinderella tale, with the amazing Drew Barrymore taking the lead role. Barrymore is oppressed by her wicked Stepmother, played to perfection by Angelica Huston, and two ugly step sisters. Actually, they aren’t really ugly at all, just pretty horrid. Just as the original story goes, our Cinders is bullied and hidden away until she is discovered by the handsome Prince Charming, Dougray Scott. There’s a little bit of hoo-ha, but then guess what? They live happily Ever After. I adore this story anyway, but with the help of some stellar acting and beautiful dresses, it really comes into its own level as a chick flick.

Dirty Dancing – ‘No-one puts Baby in a corner’, and this film doesn’t deserve to be put in one either. Clichéd and over-played as it is, Dirty Dancing is the daddy of chick flicks and deserves a lot of credit for being the first of its kind. Not only that, but there’s some kick-ass dancing too. You go Swayze!

Titanic – Albeit a lengthy film that needs mental preparation, Titanic succeeds in being the perfect chick flick. Pauper Jack (DiCaprio) falls for the very rich, and very engaged, Rose (Winslet) whilst both of them are on the Titanic’s maiden voyage across the Atlantic. Loosely based on a true story, we already know the tragic ending of the ocean liner, but in this film, that all gets forgotten as you get swept up in the whirlwind romance. Unfortunately, this one has no happy ending for Jack & Rose, as I’m sure everyone knows, and makes me ball my eyes out every time.

Can you think of 10 you'd prefer?

‘Did I fall asleep..?’ – How on earth could I?!

Last week I had to do a TV programme review on a recent sci-fri programme...and here it is! Ta da!

The uber-awesome Dollhouse cast

The genius that is Joss Whedon has brought us a portfolio of sci-fi gold over the years, ranging from the omnipresent Buffy to the futuristic Firefly - not to mention a few musical numbers to boot! Last year saw the arrival of Dollhouse.

Headed by one of Whedon’s best, foxy starlet Eliza Dushku, Dollhouse provides a myriad of technological wonders, presenting you with the concept that people are dolls, or ‘Actives’, that can easily be wiped and programmed at will.

Centred on Caroline/Echo (Dushku), the show takes us on the journey of her selfawareness, whilst simultaneously offering episodic storylines wherein we see the dolls sent on engagements, some of which are pretty sordid! The Actives at the LA branch of the Dollhouse are our main focus, and all are cleverly named after the phonetic alphabet. The likes of Victor, Whiskey, Sierra, November, and of course, Echo, demonstrate a range of personas, sometimes plonked into the most mundane, and other times, the most bizarre situations. From high-risk criminal ventures to loving interludes, no episode is the same and, if anything, Dollhouse really earns its merit by giving all of its actors the chance to showcase their talents.

After each engagement, the Actives are ‘wiped’ of each character imprint by Topher, the resident techy geek. However, this doesn’t really work on our heroine Echo, who retains some memories from each person she transforms into. Gradually, she comes to terms with the fact that she is a doll, with her services being prostituted to the highest bidder. Suffice to say, she, with the help of FBI buddy Paul Ballard, is eager to fight back and break away from the exploitations of the Dollhouse. Unfortunately this isn’t as easy as it may seem. Even Ballard, with his unhealthy Echo obsession, gets roped in to working for them in the end, albeit an attempt to take them down from the inside.

Both season finales are worth a mention, as they interestingly jump forward in time to a post-apocalyptic future. Without giving too much away, it stages the uprising of the dolls, as well as showing how advanced the Dollhouse technology has become and subsequently, what it has done to the human race.

A definite must, Dollhouse comes up trumps for me and I’ve already pre-ordered Season 2 on DVD. If only it hadn’t been so prematurely cancelled…

In the words of Mutant Enemy: ‘Grr. Argh.’

This futuristic sci-fi drama deserves a decent 7.5/10.

My 10 Worst ‘Chick Flicks’ – *SPOILER ALERT* (well not really, because most of them are rubs…)

After much deliberation, I have compiled a list of my 10 least fave chick flicks. Believe you me, it wasn’t easy, there’s a lot of cheese out there. I also do feel a weeny bit evil for bad-mouthing all these films. I promise to produce a good vibey post in the next day or two to counteract how blunt this one is. Enjoy!

In no particular order…

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past – Could this be more an insult to Charles Dickens? Answer: no. This film turns a brilliant story (A Christmas Carol) into a rather stupid chick flick. ‘Nuff said. Poor show for Garner and McConaughey.

Wedding Date – Debra Messing hires escort, Dermot Mulroney, as her ‘wedding date’ in order to make her ex jealous. Messing and Mulroney fight and then, whaddaya know? They’re in love. Wow. An anxiety-prone gal and a male prostitute – destined to be together. Deuce Bigalow, eat your heart out.

When in Rome – Generally shite as chick flicks go. I expected a lot more, especially when there’s appearances from some Hollywood big-shots: Josh Duhmal, Jon Heder (Napoleon Dynamite!), and the legendary Danny DeVito. Not sure what happened here…it’s just PURE cheese...wrapped in some gouda…then drizzled in brie. Also, FYI, Kristen Bell is not Sarah Marshall in this film. Doh.

Made of Honour – McDreamy becomes McBoring in this film. Die-hard Greys Anatomy fans look away! It’s just awful seeing Patrick Dempsey completely emasculated and forced to be his best (girl)friend’s ‘Maid of honour’. Cringe factor? 20 out of 10.

My Best Friend’s Wedding – Loved seeing Rupert Everitt as the gay best buddy in this film, but it wasn’t enough to save yet another chick flick where the girl doesn’t actually get the guy in the end. I hate it when this happens. I watch chick flicks for good love or friendship vibes. This just doesn’t do it for me. Sorry Rupe!

Prime – Boy meets girl. Girl meets boy. Girl is daaaamn old, and really more of a lady than a girl. It’s a recipe for disaster and, inevitably, doesn’t have a happy ending. As much as I enjoy a bit of cradle-snatching, this is on too much of an epic level. Plus Uma is oodles better in the action roles. Pulp Fiction trumps this any day.

The Perfect Man – Girl (Hilary Duff) sets up mum (Heather Lockyer) with an imaginary ‘perfect’ man (Big from SATC). That is all. Excuse me while I vom.

Elizabethtown – Let’s be honest, Orlando Bloom isn’t much more than a pretty face (except when he’s Legolas! :D), so the slightly wooden acting, coupled with a storyline that is so riDONKulous, the hedgehog in my garden could’ve done better, makes for a pretty awful film. It tries to be a bit Indie, but doesn’t quite get there. It tries to be a chick flick but doesn’t really make it there either. I mean, there’s a guy and a girl, the guy’s dad dies, he’s all depressed, the guy and girl get it on, blah blah blah, which is all gravy - but there just doesn’t seem to be a spark. The worst chick flicks of all are the ones without chemistry, and this one seems allergic to it.

You’ve Got Mail – Again, a disappointing one. Ryan. Hanks. I was personally expecting Sleepless in Seattle part 2. WRONG. Instead I got instant messaging…on film. Bad idea.

The Break-up – I actually like this film. A lot. Despite Vaughn always playing the same character, I can’t help but love him. Not to mention, who doesn’t want Jennifer Aniston in a film (‘cause she’s in Friends, duh!)?! My main gripe is that the film gives the impression of being a good, upstanding chick flick and then trashes it all at the end but not having a happy, flowery ending. Don’t get me wrong, I adore films that surprise you and end completely the opposite to how you think they will, but this one saddened me because I REALLY wanted them to stay together. It’s the chick flick that broke my heart! Hence why it’s in my 10 worst. Still love it though.

...Any agreements/disagreements? :) X

Calling all gamers!

Howdy folks :)

Here be my first EVER blog review on Gamer, starring Gerard Butler, which I managed to catch on Sky Movies Premiere last night.

With gaming scenes realistic enough to satisfy any Call of Duty fan, Gamer is a jolly tale about a modern warfare game known as 'Slayers', wherein the players are actually controlling real people through nano-technology. If you hadn't guessed, I was being a wee bit sarky when I said jolly. Gruesome from the outset, the film throws death-row cons into this real-life gaming experience, with promises of an early release if they complete 30 rounds without getting their heads blown off (sound familiar? The Running Man? Death Race?). Kable (Butler), our anti-hero, has been typically wrongly accused and is desperate to get home to his wife and daughter. Surviving 28 games, Kable is the longest standing convict in Slayers and a threat to the game's creator, Castle, in more ways than one.

Kable's wife Angie doesn't fare much better either. Devastated that her daughter has been taken into fostercare, she becomes a voluntary victim in Castle's other game, 'Society'. A take on virtual life-simulation games like The Sims, Society works much in the same way as Slayer; players controlling real people. This enables players to live out their fantasies, however depraved, by seeing real people behave as they want them to without dealing with any consequences. The man controlling Angie is a morbidly obese recluse who likes to dress her in bright PVC colours and force her to come on to half of the Society populus. Heroes' Milo Ventimiglia also pops up as a character in Society called 'Rick the Rapist'. Donning a leather one-piece and harassing all the women, his character really demonstrates that not everyone is as they seem and Society gives the opportunity for any sick and sexual desires to come into the open.

Special guest appearances from the oh-so-creepy Michael C. Hall (TV's Dexter) and rap artist Ludacris add some credit to the film, but unfortunately don't make up for a rather weak plot-line. The feud triangle between Kable, Castle and their other business partner, who Kable supposedly killed in cold blood, is never fully explained. Not only that, but for me, the whole film ended quite abruptly. There was no stereotypical final fight between the good and the bad, just a rather minuscule stand-off. Also worth a mention, Butler's accent. Is he Scottish or is he American? It really is a mystery.

That being said, the gaming scenes really do deliver, offering killer camera-work (pardon the pun), justifiably gory head-shots, and a realistic take on how games are for the gamer in this day and age. For me, the best part was seeing one player teabag his dead team-mate. Classy.

Give this one 2/10. A must-see if you're an avid gamer, otherwise the storyline is a bit thin.

Sorry, I'm a newb...

So this is my first blog entry.

I’ll try and keep it short and sweet as I’m pretty sure that any miniscule viewership I manage to entertain is much more interested in hearing about the excites of TV and film, as opposed to seeing me chatter on about the quandaries of life. Trust me when I say I won’t be doing a Rachel from Friends and ‘rambling on for 18 pages – FRONT AND BACK’. Yup. You heard it here first. I am a die-hard Friends fan and you can rest assured I will be quoting my butt off whenever possible.

Now that that's out of the way, all I have left to do is introduce myself and properly say what I'm attempting to do with this blog. Well, as many of my friends will know (probably 99% of the people that will read this blog are my friends anyway...) I love, love, love all things film. And to top that off, I love all things US TV too. Give me a bit of True Blood or Supernatural anyday of the week and I'll be grinning from ear to ear. Anywho, I hope to use this blog not to ramble (you'll be pleased to hear!) but as an attempt at sampling my reviewing skills. I try to head down to my local Odeon at least once a week, unless the world is ending, to see all the new films (aided by free tickets from the boyf's brother, a cinema worker!) so I'm hoping to supply you, my glorious audience, with some in-depth info on what I think about films. Might be worth noting that it takes alot for me to hate a film...someone once said to me that it was a sweet quality, that I 'see the good in every film'. Perhaps that's true. Or perhaps I'm just a whiny girl, who knows?!

Anywho, I think these blogs will be a bit few and far between for a while, and probably comprising of some of my favourite movies/shows first, just until I get in to the swing of things.

Please bear with me! Hopefully I can get my first review up over the weekend  - I'm thinking I Love You, Man - hello Paul Rudd!

Adios amigos....I'll be back.

X